For many years
I repeatedly tried to cram myself
into organized religion
Sandwiched between my spouse
And other church goers
I pretended it felt good to be there
But it never felt good to me
I remember watching
as the people in front of me sang the hymns
Their arms outstretched
Heads tilting backwards
Blissed out
I craved what they were feeling
So open hearted and full of love
Singing and being vulnerable
Fully embraced by God
It was simply beautiful to watch
But I couldn’t do it
My arms wouldn’t budge
from my overheating armpits
Clamped down so tightly
Just like my voice
as I choked out the lyrics
Desperately waiting for the song to be over
so I could sit back down
And blend back in
I stopped squishing myself into churches
a few years ago
And started doing what my soul wanted to do
Taking long walks and singing with the trees
Peering out at the stars
And saying hello to the moon
I began to talk to the rivers and the raindrops
Feeling more seen and embraced by God
than ever before
I started taking pictures
of the beauty all around
And writing about my observations
The incredible connections
And life-changing messages I received
I was conceived outside
Fell in love outdoors
And got married in front of the little tree
in my parents big field
Today on my afternoon stroll
I danced in the sunshine with my dog
We howled and she grinned and I laughed
as I threw my arms wide open
My head tilting back
Warm sunlight on my face
Blissed out
Fully embraced by God’s love
In the way that makes sense to me
A religion of my own
I smiled at the sky
and thanked it for seeing me
Go to where you feel it
That intimate connection beyond words
God is everywhere
Especially outside ✨
Comments