I've been thinking about death a whole lot lately. Perhaps this is what happens when one approaches turning 40. Slightly kidding, but midlife feels significant. Am I halfway through? Only time will tell.
What a wild thing this is, to be alive. I don't remember where I came from before this and don't know where I will go afterwards, but I do know that this part is forever changing and eventually ends. What then?
Lately when I lay down at night I keep wondering what happens when we die. This beautiful human instrument returns to the elements of the earth. But my spirit, where does it go? Sometimes enormous feelings of fear arise. Sheer desperation. I can't even imagine how much I will miss my family and their faces. The magic in their eyes. My magnificent hands and the ability to process the human experience within the constructs of my body. Then the feelings of wide open wonder wander in, of insurmountable peace and love. Of beauty so grand I will finally understand the unending magic that we are and how everything is absolutely inextricably connected.
How we never say goodbye.
I am trying to accept that the mysterious aspects of life are part of the grandeur and if we were supposed to know all of the answers, we would. But I have miles of questions.
A few weeks ago I learned that souls can call in near death experiences in order to "touch base." A reminder of who we are and where we came from. A remembrance of why we are here. A refresher. I am in complete agreement with this concept after my own NDEs because I came away from that life-changing week with a glimmer of understanding of just how miraculous death is and will be. A giant welcome home to the roots of existence. A glimpse of what is to come and it wasn't scary. It was bliss. But aside from knowing a fraction of death's beauty, these experiences catapulted me into a new realm of consciousness.
A perspective changer, to say the least.
I learned that souls can switch out during a NDE, if desired. The contract we make before we are born allows for this type of swap to take place at the planned moment. A passing of the baton, if you will. Reflecting on the two NDEs I experienced about 20 months ago, I am wondering if this is something that I did. A soul swap.
The person I am now doesn't look like the person I was before. Perhaps a big factor is being back in braces, but it goes beyond the physics of my face. It is how I feel. What I see when I look around and how I see it. Last week while driving on the interstate I noticed how stunning the swirls of exhaust looked upon exiting the oil refinery. How the broken glass along the side of the road reflected the setting sunlight into fractured rainbows. I slowed down enough to see the blue sparkles alive in the man's eyes when he asked for my spare change and I wondered if he was angelic. The raindrops and pine needles sing as I go by, asking to be seen. The tree along my favorite walk invited me to come closer and when I gently put my hands on the trunk, it showed me its life story. Absolutely everything looks and feels different. Magnified.
Have you had a similar experience? I would love to know about it, if you would like to share.
To hear the ways in which your life changed shape afterwards. Of your transformation.
It is of utmost interest and importance.
As you might have gathered, I've fallen in love with photography. The pictures I capture seem to take themselves and I have only learned how to lean in and look. I can't seem to get close enough. The expanded details of the natural world delight my soul and all I want to do is zoom in even more. Visible evidence of the miraculous and the closest thing I have found to answering my big questions.
I've discovered that there is something called macrophotography and am teaching myself about the functions of my camera. Upon waking every morning I breathe deeply and am filled with delight and wonder of what the day will hold. Sunlight and inspiration abound and I feel childlike in a sparkling new world. I can't wait to share more photos with you.
Awareness, appreciation, curiosity, perception, fascination...
All magnified.
#NDE #macro #zoomin #inspiration #love #light #wonder #god #splendor #earth #humanexperience #magnificence #soul #sacredcontracts
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