There is so much talk about 'self-care' these days. It has definitely become a buzz word. I just saw an article about 2020 being the year of self-care. While part of me is over here cheerleading the movement toward a more widespread acceptance of self-care, another part is frustrated that moms can still be so highly criticized for making themselves a priority.
MY EXPERIENCE
Over the years, many women in my life have told me they admire my ability to take care of myself well. And to others, I've come across as selfish, aloof and/or narcissistic. What they are referring to is how I often excuse myself after awhile from large gatherings to slip outside for a quiet walk. Or that I wake up early to make time for my yoga practice. Or that I don't eat foods that make me feel bad.
When my children were younger, I didn't realize how I was coming across to some. (Honestly, I didn't even have the energy to think about how I was coming across....getting through the day took all I had). My imbalanced system and heightened anxiety levels, especially in large gatherings centered around food (you can read my post Empaths & Food: Eating Other People's Feelings), created my need to retreat. Once I knew my kids were being looked after, I'd quickly disappear, desperate for an energetic break. I found the solitude to be absolutely delicious: my mind quieted down, my body felt peaceful and I was once again able to distinguish what was mine and what wasn't.
Does this sound like an experience you've had?
Looking back, I understand how my behavior could have been interpreted as selfish (maybe it was? But it was also necessary) so I've learned to communicate better. And much to my delight, the need to retreat is less crucial now that I've found more balance in my body and life, and that my babies are older. 8 & 10 year olds are wonderful to be around (mostly). Cheers to being able to get themselves dressed, prepare an easy snack or wash their own hair!
Self-care: Essential or self-centered? Or can it be both and that's totally ok?
What are your favorite ways to attend to your needs?
Are there self-care ideas you would like to try, but haven't yet?
Could explaining your needs a little more help your close relationships?
It will get easier.
Now that most of my loved ones are used to my self-care routine, we hardly talk about it. It's just what I do and it usually doesn't effect anyone else. But I long for all women, especially moms, to feel supported when speaking their needs and making time for doing the things that make them feel balanced, nurtured and fully alive.
Having a full cup means that we have made our physical, spiritual, and emotional needs a priority. When our cup runneth over, we are well-rested, well-nourished and full of energy. We have taken the time to fulfill our emotional and spiritual needs. -HOLLY SCHERER
Can we take beautiful care of ourselves and just as wonderful care of those around us? Absolutely!!
So this is just my shout out of encouragement to all of you who are motivated to prioritize your own needs, and to love your people and take care of them as well. Taking care of yourself actually allows you to take BETTER care of the people you love. WOOT!
IDEAS FOR SELF-CARE PRACTICES FOR MOMS
BALANCE Learn about your ayurvedic dosha to understand yourself better. This has helped me more than anything!
TAKE TURNS If there are two parents in your family dynamic, rotate which parent is on night duty and which is on mornings, and trade who gets to sleep in or stay up late
COMMUNICATE Let others know what you need- just letting yourself say it out loud is a great thing!
FREE TIME Swap out on weekends to give each other a chunk of unscheduled play time. Free time is so much fun and rather rare, especially when our lives are full with balancing multiple schedules. For example, my hubby headed out yesterday to spend some quality time with his brother to work on their trucks and I took the kids on a town adventure. Grocery shopping at Costco and Pizza Ranch, anyone? Today, he is out snowshoeing with the kids and giving me a chance to write. High five, hubs!
BEDTIME Initiate an early bedtime. My kiddos get in bed around 7:30pm and have lights out at 9pm. They love this quiet time and spend it reading or telling each other stories in their room. My husband and I cherish this time as well to spend (mostly uninterrupted) time together. And it's important to us that our children know we love our Mom & Dad conversation time. Win-win!
FREEZER MEALS Learn the art of doubling recipes and freezing extras! It is fun to do together as a family (if you're feeling patient). Serious game changer for me. We got an inexpensive second freezer just for this reason and we use the heck out of it. (Well, not right now because we're in a temporary tiny home situation and the spare freezer is in the tarp-covered horse trailer, AKA "storage unit" in our front yard. Classy, I know...) There are lots of websites with recipe ideas and some that show you how to make all of your meals for the month in one go.
What else ya got? Love to hear what works for you!
#lifehacksformoms #selfcare #motherhood #momlifebalance #empaths #empathmoms #balanceddoshas #ayurveda #ayurvedicwisdom
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